March 30, 2026

From Reality TV to Real Resilience: Jennifer Gaydos Hartman on Trauma, Healing & Tomorrow Is Not Promised

From Reality TV to Real Resilience: Jennifer Gaydos Hartman on Trauma, Healing & Tomorrow Is Not Promised

Send us Fan Mail What if everything changed in a single moment and the life you thought you knew was gone forever? In this deeply moving episode of Kali Kat Tap Talks, we sit down with Jennifer Gaydos Hartman actress, mental health advocate and author of the upcoming memoir Tomorrow Is Not Promised to share a story that goes far beyond what you’ve seen on television. Known to many from The Real Housewives of Dallas, Jennifer opens up about the reality behind the spotlight one marked not by fa...

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Send us Fan Mail

What if everything changed in a single moment and the life you thought you knew was gone forever?

In this deeply moving episode of Kali Kat Tap Talks, we sit down with Jennifer Gaydos Hartman actress, mental health advocate and author of the upcoming memoir Tomorrow Is Not Promised to share a story that goes far beyond what you’ve seen on television.

Known to many from The Real Housewives of Dallas, Jennifer opens up about the reality behind the spotlight one marked not by fame, but by unimaginable loss, resilience and the courage to rebuild.

After the tragic death of her mother in a murder-suicide, Jennifer was faced with a reality no one is ever prepared for. In the aftermath, she made a choice not to be defined by tragedy, but to transform it into purpose. Her journey is not about “moving on,” but about learning how to live again one step, one moment, one breath at a time.

With over 20 years of experience in psychiatric nursing and addiction treatment, Jennifer brings a rare and powerful perspective blending professional insight with lived experience. She speaks openly about trauma, grief, healing and the importance of breaking the silence around mental health.

Her upcoming memoir, Tomorrow Is Not Promised, is more than a book it’s a reminder that life is fragile, time is not guaranteed and healing is possible even in the darkest moments.

This episode is raw. It’s real. And it’s a conversation that will stay with you long after it ends.

🎙️ In this episode:
• The truth behind life after reality TV
• Navigating grief after sudden loss
• Mental health, trauma, and rebuilding your life
• Turning pain into purpose
• The message behind Tomorrow Is Not Promised

As you listen, take a moment…
As you travel through my eyes and hear this story unfold, imagine that cup of tea or that sip we’re sharing together along this journey.

Because here, every story matters. And every sip has a story.

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs it. These conversations are meant to be heard and felt.

💛 Support the podcast:
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🔥 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—your support helps keep the taps flowing! Until next time, sip, savor, and adventure on! 🍺✨

WEBVTT

00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:05.519
And I've got Jennifer here, and she's here to tell her story.

00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:06.719
Go ahead, Jennifer.

00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:10.400
Hi, well, thank you so much for having me on today.

00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:16.640
Yes, just to get the my story out, I'm writing a book called Tomorrow Is Not Promised.

00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:24.239
And the book is based on my childhood and struggles that I had to fight through to get where I am today.

00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:32.079
You know, I grew up in a very, very small town outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania called Uniontown, Pennsylvania.

00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:33.119
I always laugh.

00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:37.039
I always say there's more animals than there are people there.

00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:42.560
And as a little girl, I just had bigger dreams and aspirations for me.

00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:48.560
I knew staying in the small town was not where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:51.520
And you know, I had a very tough childhood.

00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:55.200
My parents divorced when I was around two years old.

00:00:55.520 --> 00:01:09.519
Uh, my memories of that marriage was very uh brutal and arguments and those types of things, and then both of my parents got remarried, and their second marriages weren't great.

00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:13.519
My dad got remarried to a woman that had two kids.

00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:17.760
Um the oldest son molested me for many years.

00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:18.560
Oh wow.

00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:35.439
My dad had substance use problems with drinking, and then on my mom's side, her second marriage, he was a very emotionally uh abusive person to myself, but physically and emotionally abusive to my mom.

00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:44.959
So I was growing up in two homes where I didn't feel safe, I didn't have that safety and security as a child.

00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:52.560
And in my book, I talk about behind my house was a church and I felt safe there.

00:01:52.879 --> 00:02:00.000
And there was this oak tree that looked so big to me that I used to go down and sit down and write in my journal.

00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:04.400
And as a little girl, you know, our dreams and aspirations are so different.

00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:13.039
But my dream number one was to put God first, to two, to be a mom and a wife someday.

00:02:13.360 --> 00:02:18.960
Three was to move to Los Angeles and get as far away as I possibly could.

00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:22.159
And um, and I did that.

00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:23.199
I I did that.

00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:29.520
My safe haven was my grandparents, they were the stability in my life that I needed.

00:02:29.840 --> 00:02:36.960
Um, my dad ended up divorcing his second wife, getting remarried to his third wife, who he's still currently married to.

00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:47.120
Um, and then my mom got remarried to her second grade boyfriend, and he really was that father figure for me in my life.

00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:58.159
You know, I was around 14 when they got married, and I finally had the perfect picture family that you could think of, and it was phenomenal.

00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:05.599
And we lost my stepsister in 2001 during a surgery.

00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:11.360
It was an accident that happened during the surgery and took her life at the age of 20.

00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:18.000
And it really rattled our family, and but it made us come together and go through that process.

00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:24.400
And then my sister and I um ended up having children and getting married.

00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:33.680
And um, I moved back from LA to be close with my family, and then I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, Cole, which was a godsend to me.

00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:43.439
And uh my stepfather really struggled throughout the years since two to 2000 from 2001 to 2020.

00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:45.280
He was very he was struggling.

00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.280
There were years that were really good and years that weren't that weren't.

00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:54.400
Um, I beat the odds, got pregnant at 19, had my son.

00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:56.960
Our parents, you know, we got married.

00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:00.159
I ended up having another son, but then going through a divorce.

00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:03.919
My marriage, we were so young, we didn't know what love was.

00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:05.360
It was toxic.

00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:07.599
I put myself through college.

00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:11.360
I knew I wanted to be a nurse, and I achieved it.

00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:16.720
And then I met my second husband, who I always say was my savior.

00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:20.160
And we he helped me raise my two children.

00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:22.079
We moved to New York City.

00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:25.199
Um, we have a daughter as well, Giannella.

00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:35.600
Um, so I had Cole, Preston, and Giannella, and um we ended up divorcing, but we are still best friends and raising our kids together.

00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:45.839
And living in Los Angeles, my mom called me in 2019 and said, Listen, your stepdad's not doing well, and his mental health is declining.

00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:53.519
And I've worked in mental health and addiction since 2009, and all the signs and symptoms were there.

00:04:53.600 --> 00:05:00.480
So I jumped on a plane in October and sat across from him at the kitchen table and said, Dad, I love you.

00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:02.160
I'm here, what can I do to help?

00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:04.800
He said, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:08.560
And I remember sitting with my mom that day saying, He's not fine.

00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:13.600
And it's either you need to leave or he needs to go get the help that he needs.

00:05:13.839 --> 00:05:19.600
And our plan was for her to move to Los Angeles with me and bring my grandmother in June.

00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:26.319
And on January 1st, 2020, my kids found their bodies.

00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:32.240
It was a murder suicide, and he killed my mother and then took his own life.

00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:33.120
Oh, wow.

00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:46.560
Yeah, so it has been my mission to be her voice and to bring awareness and break the stigma, not just on mental health, but with addiction as well.

00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:52.240
And this is where I am today, being her voice, and I'm excited for the book to come out.

00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:59.279
She came to me in a dream telling me tomorrow's not promise, live live each day like it's your last.

00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:02.560
And I decided to give my book that title.

00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:07.600
And I hope that it truly inspires people.

00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:22.399
I hope readers feel a sense of agency, that they're not defined by their hardest moments, that rebuilding is possible, and that small practical step towards healing add up.

00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:31.519
So if my story sparks a glimmer of hope or a clearer path to support, to seek support, that's success for me.

00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:32.480
Yeah.

00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:37.680
So what was the turning point in your in your life as a as a child to where you're at right now?

00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:38.879
What was your turning point?

00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:39.839
You know what?

00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:55.680
I that little girl that sat under that tree, knowing that I was going to break the family cycle, that I would never allow my children or myself to endure a life like this of instability and not being safe.

00:06:55.920 --> 00:07:04.720
So I knew if I got good grades, I stayed out of trouble and did what I needed to do, that one day I would get out of there.

00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:16.800
And I I graduated at 17 and I remember packing my car up with my grandmother and driving from Pennsylvania to Arizona and then going to California.

00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:19.839
So when did a healing process start for you?

00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:21.199
Well, you know what?

00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:32.800
The healing process started for me, I think the first moment of healing was when I was 18 years old, and I finally told my mom I was being molested as a kid by my stepbrother.

00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:38.240
And that's when, because I was, I was, I was pregnant at the time.

00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:43.360
I was 18 when I got pregnant, 19 when I had my son, and I felt so much shame.

00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:58.079
And I was in therapy and I was doing all the things I needed to do, but speaking and saying it out loud was my first step into its acceptance and going, okay, this happened to me.

00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:00.720
And um, yeah, that was my first step.

00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:04.160
And listen, my journey will continue forever with the healing.

00:08:04.480 --> 00:08:11.279
You know, I am very open about I'm in therapy, I do therapy every week.

00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:17.680
Um, after my mom's death, I hit a really bad place, and I want to talk about that too.

00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:23.360
Like, yes, I am where I am right now, but there were a lot of bumps along the way.

00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:26.480
And right, my mom was my best friend.

00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:28.879
I talked to her four times a day.

00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:32.240
All of a sudden, our family unit's gone.

00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:36.960
It's it's gone, and I got really down and depressed.

00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:39.679
Now you have to remember, I have three children.

00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.759
So mom mode was I gotta get them into the right head space.

00:08:44.080 --> 00:08:46.559
My two boys were there when this happened.

00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:48.159
You know, they weren't at the house.

00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:53.600
My son arrived about nine to twelve minutes after he shot himself.

00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.159
So that was my priority.

00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:00.000
And I've never been a drinker, I've never been any of that.

00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:09.840
And I started to find myself when the kids would go to bed, I would go in the kitchen and pour a glass of wine and sit on the floor and cry because it was the farthest room away.

00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:12.240
I thought, oh, the kids can't hear me crying.

00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:17.840
And I hit rock bottom because I put the I wanted to make sure the kids were okay.

00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:21.039
And I had a failed suicide attempt.

00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:37.200
Um, I took a bunch of pills on Mother's Day that first year and was having some wine, and thank God my very good friend Matt called me and said I didn't sound right, and he rushed me to the hospital, and that was my aha moment.

00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:38.799
Like, what the heck are you doing?

00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:42.639
You have three beautiful children that just lost their grandparents, yeah.

00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:47.039
They can't lose you, and that's when everything changed for me.

00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:52.080
And so uh take us back to that to that moment.

00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:54.879
Yeah, it was scary.

00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:58.480
Um, it wasn't intentional.

00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:11.759
I went to Mexico and bought Xanax to sleep because I was having night terrors, and that day was just so hard, and I was popping um, and I took like three more before I went to bed.

00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:18.080
And um, but I can also say it was intentional, not intentional.

00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:23.120
I thought, hey, if I go to sleep and don't wake up tomorrow, I just want the pain to stop.

00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:26.000
I don't want to feel this way anymore.

00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:38.000
And I remember waking up in the hospital, it was during COVID, and I had IVs all in me, and my friend Matt and my best friend Katie were there, and I said, What happened?

00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:41.679
And they said, You overdosed on pills.

00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:45.840
And I thought, oh my god, how selfish am I?

00:10:46.159 --> 00:10:57.600
Because listen, with when my stepfather killed my mother and killed himself, the murder scene was still upstairs, and I remember sitting with my kids in the living room looking, and I sat them down.

00:10:57.679 --> 00:11:02.799
I said, Listen, we have two choices we can be survivors or we could be victims.

00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:04.080
What do we choose?

00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:17.440
And we all said, We are going to be survivors, and that replayed in my head, and at that moment, it gave me more strength than I could ever describe to you.

00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:22.720
So, what practices or people help you rebuild uh your life?

00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:33.600
Yeah, you know, having close friends that you can count on is amazing, having a close community, um seeking therapy, even seeking treatment.

00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:36.240
I work for the guest house Ocala.

00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:42.879
We are a residential treatment center, dual licensed in mental health and addiction.

00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:45.440
Um, it is a great place.

00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:54.559
I wish I knew of the guest house when I was going through my my trials and tribulations, where we really are a trauma-based program.

00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:56.639
Don't be afraid to go get help.

00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:59.840
It is okay to say, hey, I'm not okay.

00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:03.120
It's not okay not to say it.

00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:15.600
So finding the therapy, finding uh community groups that you can go and you can talk to or a friend that you could pick up and you know have a conversation with.

00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:19.360
It's also important we check up on our loved ones.

00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:22.559
I mean, we are not very far in 2026.

00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:27.600
We're at over a hundred thousand suicides already for this year.

00:12:27.919 --> 00:12:28.559
Wow.

00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:34.240
How do you know when somebody needs help?

00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:36.879
Well, look at their behavior.

00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:38.480
Are they withdrawn?

00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:40.799
Are they kind of keeping to themselves?

00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:42.000
Are they eating more?

00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:43.519
Are they gaining weight?

00:12:43.759 --> 00:12:45.600
Are they losing weight?

00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:50.080
Um, really paying attention to somebody's behavior says a lot.

00:12:50.320 --> 00:13:03.679
You know, if every day every day they're going to the gym and then you see them not going to the gym, um, if you see them isolating themselves, those are the first telltale signs of somebody that's struggling.

00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:11.039
I mean, listen, people that that do things like this, my stepfather, I never heard him yell.

00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:12.879
I never heard him upset.

00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:15.600
He was a kind, gentle man.

00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:18.639
He knew my mother since second grade.

00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:28.639
Um, I've never imagined he would he would be capable of doing what he did to my mother and also to himself.

00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.240
Well, and you say that with signs.

00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:34.960
We did, we did.

00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.440
He started to have a loss of interest.

00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:45.039
Now you have to remember, I'm I'm across the United States, and my mom was a very private, proudful person.

00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:51.279
So she wouldn't tell me too too much, but what she would say, Why he hasn't spoken to me in a few days.

00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:53.600
It went from a few days to a few weeks.

00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:55.440
I said, Mom, this is not normal.

00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:02.399
So when I started to see the increase of her noticing certain things, that's when I jumped on the plane in October.

00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:06.080
And when I sat across from him, there was nothing there.

00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:11.759
It was a very empty, very empty eyes that I was looking into.

00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:16.799
So those are some of the things that you have to look at in your loved one.

00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:24.080
Or if you yourself are struggling, um, don't be afraid to tell someone and get the help that you need.

00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:29.200
So your family doesn't have to feel the way our my family does.

00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:35.919
So how did this um this did this affect you when you were on real housewives?

00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:40.799
Well, this didn't happen, this happened after the the housewives.

00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:44.000
Um it happened after the housewives.

00:14:44.159 --> 00:15:11.919
Um, but the housewives, you know, just being associated with that, and I've been doing things in in Hollywood since I was I was 17, and just you know, having the network of friends that I have there, it's given me the platform to really scream this off the uh off the rooftops and get the attention of let's break the stigma, let's have real talks about when we're having bad days or we're feeling yucky.

00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:19.600
Um, if you're having suicidal ediations, you know, also with kids, social media has been really tough.

00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:26.559
I mean, I have a 14-year-old, you know, social media, we didn't have that back in our day.

00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:29.360
So we didn't have to worry about that.

00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:36.080
Kids these days, um, I am seeing an increase of kids like cutting those types of things.

00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:45.200
Let's really be aware and look at what our kids are doing, looking, you know, uh at their bodies, seeing I was at the grocery store the other day.

00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:47.360
The little girl in front of me was probably 15.

00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:49.600
I could see cut marks on her arm.

00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:57.120
You know, we need to be more cognitive of what's going on with our with our kids and our our our family members.

00:15:57.440 --> 00:15:59.039
So so explain cutting.

00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:04.639
I had a podcast yes, and she talked about she was cutting herself as well.

00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:06.799
And now you're saying cutting.

00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:15.919
So I mean, explain to us if we were a walk in the store and we see somebody and they have cuts on them.

00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:19.759
I mean, what are we what are we thinking?

00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:24.320
Do we go up to that person, talk to them, or do we let it be?

00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:26.320
Never let it be.

00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:31.360
Listen, the little girl in front of me, I tapped her shoulder and I started talking to her.

00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:35.279
And she said, Why quit cutting about six, seven months ago?

00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:40.320
You know, the cutting is a way of them getting rid of the stress.

00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.120
But I'm seeing a trend in that right now.

00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:51.759
I'm seeing a trend in young ladies with body dysmorphia because they're seeing uh social media and they have to look a certain way.

00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:54.159
But the cutting is it's very serious.

00:16:54.320 --> 00:16:56.559
Yeah, if you see something, say something.

00:16:56.799 --> 00:17:01.759
Stop them and say, hey, I know I'm a stranger, but I just want to make sure you're okay.

00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.720
You know, do you need someone to talk to?

00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:07.519
Don't be afraid to offer it up.

00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.519
What's the worst thing someone's gonna say to you?

00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:11.200
No, get away from me.

00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:14.799
Um, so we need to be more aware all the way around.

00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:22.720
And you know, with everything going on in the world today, um, people are struggling with what's going on right now.

00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:27.039
So we really need to be aware of everyone around us.

00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:30.640
So why do people cut cut themselves?

00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:31.839
Well, I mean, what is the purpose?

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:43.759
Like a stress release for them if they're feeling a certain way for them, it it cutting is like a relief, they're releasing some of that.

00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:49.359
I would think if I was to cut myself, it'd be more painful than releasing pain.

00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.599
Or am I not thinking that correctly?

00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:54.880
Yeah, you and I, that's how we would feel.

00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:58.799
Um, but they're in a different mindset, and that's a relief for them.

00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:01.279
You know, they burn themselves too.

00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:08.319
Um, you know, there's a lot of trends that go on out there that that these kids are seeing.

00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:12.400
Um so we really need to watch and see what our kids are doing.

00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:14.160
Fentanyl, my big thing.

00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:15.680
Listen, I have I have children.

00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:17.279
I am I have kids in college.

00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:26.000
I'm constantly saying, do not take one thing from somebody because fentanyl is everywhere.

00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:28.240
We are seeing it everywhere.

00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:32.079
I carry Narcan on me 24-7.

00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:44.000
Just in case if I'm driving down the street and I see someone that is unconscious, I I I have my Narcan with me to administer to them from an overdose.

00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:54.559
Oh wow, I know fentanyl is a it's a huge issue, but is it true that they say just one little drop or whatever it is, it uh and then you're addicted?

00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:56.400
Well, this is the thing.

00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:01.599
It takes a little grain of sand of fentanyl to kill you and I.

00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:07.920
Are people drug users out on the street or you know, going and buying fentanyl and using it?

00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:08.480
Yes.

00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:16.240
Fentanyl is the most dangerous drug out there, and it is everywhere.

00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:22.559
Kids are thinking they're buying a Xanax from someone and they're dying of a fentanyl overdose.

00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:24.640
It is laced in everything.

00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:29.519
We're seeing it even laced in the uh marijuana pens now.

00:19:29.839 --> 00:19:40.079
Um, the good thing is because of the border control, what we're doing, we are seeing a decrease in fentanyl coming over the border, which is a positive.

00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:41.119
That's a good positive.

00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:41.759
That's a good positive.

00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:42.960
That's a good positive.

00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:43.519
Yeah.

00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:49.200
So so how do you balance clinical knowledge with the live experience when you speak to the audience?

00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:50.559
You know what?

00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:53.119
That's that's a great question.

00:19:53.359 --> 00:20:03.599
It's with that, I can take that clinical part, but that's not really what's important when I'm talking to people.

00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:09.519
It's my lived experience because it's relatable to a lot of people.

00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:14.720
That's more value than the degree that I have is because I've been through it.

00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.559
My first husband was a drug addict.

00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:23.680
I went and had to raise two little boys by myself because of that.

00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:28.400
So I have lived, lived through some of the hardest things.

00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:33.039
And um, they you know, the saying, God only gives you what you can handle.

00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.680
And when I pray at night, I'm like, God, no more.

00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:39.359
I I can't handle much more.

00:20:39.680 --> 00:21:00.000
But no, it really it is a blessing to be able to sit with families, you know, at my job at the guest house Ocala, bringing clients in, um, sometimes my story can be relatable to them, and it builds that relationship and makes them comfortable to opening up to me.

00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:04.160
I'm not just a clinician coming in having a conversation.

00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:10.160
Listen, we're we're real people, and we've we've dealt with some real things.

00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:15.839
Yeah, so you become a strong voice for mental health uh awareness.

00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:22.400
What push you to speak um public instead of uh staying silent?

00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:23.759
You know what?

00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:25.519
This is the thing.

00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:30.319
Um talks about it.

00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:43.200
There is this stigma around, you know, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, we would look down upon going, well, my mother died in a murder suicide in the hands of my stepfather.

00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:51.680
And once I start talking about it, people start talking about it even more and sharing their stories.

00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:57.920
So I wanted to, I my goal is to break the wall, break the stigma, and let everyone know it is okay.

00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.359
It is okay to talk about.

00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.680
Struggles in your life.

00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:06.559
And I want to build a platform where they feel comfortable doing that.

00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:08.559
This is no judgment here.

00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:19.119
So right now with your book, what is one chapter in your book that resonates with you the most?

00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:26.400
I would say diving deep into my childhood.

00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:34.960
Because I like a like an onion, I peeled a lot of layers, a lot of trauma that I thought I worked on reappeared.

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:38.400
So I think the chapter just really about my childhood.

00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:44.799
You know, reading it, even though I lived it, reading it, going, wow, how did I overcome that?

00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:54.720
Where did I get that strength at such a young age to be so positive and to have these goals and to reach these goals?

00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:02.559
When I was a little girl, my mom's second husband, that was who was very emotionally abusive, I will never forget.

00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:10.640
When my mom met him, he had four daughters, and then my mom had my sister and I, and he treated us very poorly.

00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:31.359
And I remember one time he wrote on my arm white trash with a permanent marker, and he told me that I would never amount to anything in my life, and it didn't hurt me, it fueled me to be able to reach my goals.

00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:52.559
And it was very funny because years later, I'm living in New York City, very doing very well, very successful, running my own company, and I had a Bentley convertible, and I drove it back to my hometown.

00:23:52.880 --> 00:24:05.039
And I was at a red light, and he was next to me in a Toyota, and I looked over at him and I just smiled, and I kept driving.

00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:10.559
And as silly as that sounds, it's not about the Bentley, it's not about any of that.

00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:17.039
He told me over and over again that I would be nothing in life.

00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:19.920
And here I am today talking to you.

00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:27.119
It's not about what you have in the bank account, it's about what's in your hearts, what you're passionate about.

00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:33.119
And he tried to break my spirit, but little did he know he was building it.

00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:34.400
Wow.

00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:45.599
So talk a little more about your book so I can get the audience more engaged in your book without giving too many details so they can buy your book and understand what you're going through.

00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:56.720
Yeah, so this is a memoir about my life, about talking about my childhood, my adulthood, and talking about my beautiful mom.

00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:01.440
And really revealing um the things that she went through.

00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:04.960
You know, there was physical abuse that I didn't know.

00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.000
There's um, you know, my mom's strength.

00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:11.200
This is talking about how resilient she was.

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:31.759
And like I said, I just really want readers to have that sense of agency, to feel that rebuilding is possible, that you may feel that it's the end of the world when you're going through it, but God has bigger plans for you.

00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:41.359
So this book is just really encouragement and and letting when I hope when they are reading this, maybe there's somebody that is is going through something really hard.

00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:49.680
Let's say that they were molested and they're afraid to talk about it, they're afraid to tell their family or confront the person that did it to them.

00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:53.359
I hope that they can read my book and go, you know what?

00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:55.519
I'm gonna talk about this.

00:25:55.759 --> 00:25:58.720
I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about what happened to me.

00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:06.000
And then also, you know, from the book, I want readers to get what those signs and symptoms are.

00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:10.880
What are we looking for in our loved ones or ourselves?

00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:14.559
Yeah, it's gonna sound like a really good book.

00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:16.960
So, where can they go to buy your book?

00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:24.319
R my book uh will be available on a website and also through um my social media.

00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:31.759
Um they'll be able to purchase the book as well, and Amazon will have it on all platforms for them to be able to purchase it.

00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:41.039
Okay, and do you know when for the Amazon or we are hoping by summer, we are hoping by summer to have it have it on Amazon.

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:46.160
I'm excited for everyone to read it and to hear the feedback as well.

00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:48.480
Yeah, I think feedback would be really good.

00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:50.799
It's it's uh very important.

00:26:51.599 --> 00:27:00.799
Um, my next thing to ask you is you sound like and you are very successful.

00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:09.279
What deep emotion would you tell everybody that you had to go through to be as successful as you are right now?

00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:15.920
You know, I can say this, and I say this to many moms and women I talk to.

00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:27.599
When I had my children and went through my divorce and putting myself through nursing school, I was on public assistance, I was working full-time and going to school full-time.

00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.720
Determination is key.

00:27:31.039 --> 00:27:33.119
Setting your goals are key.

00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:39.279
Anything is possible, and I always tell everyone write, you know, have a vision board.

00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:45.440
Just know when you're going through something really hard, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:53.759
I never gave up faith, I never gave up hope, I never gave up on me, and that was key.

00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:57.279
There were many times I wanted to throw in the towel.

00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:59.920
And listen, it hasn't been an easy journey.

00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:07.279
Life is not easy, but if you're determined and put your mind to it, you'll do it.

00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:08.559
Wow.

00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:16.480
So my my my last question would be, what would your legacy be?

00:28:18.079 --> 00:28:19.839
That's a great question.

00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:31.200
I want my kids to look back and be very proud of the movement that I am doing to bring awareness and to honor my mom.

00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:36.960
And I want my kids to go, wow, look at look at all the lives or people my mom touched.

00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:39.680
That's truly what I want my legacy to be.

00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:43.519
If I could help one person, that's enough for me.

00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:49.599
And and one last question, and uh, and I and I apologize on this one.

00:28:50.079 --> 00:29:03.759
Um how can the audience, if there's somebody out there that is struggling, what can they do, you know, right now to get help?

00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:15.680
Well, 988, they can dial 988, they could dial the suicide hotline if they're having suicide ideations, pick up the phone and call a friend or family member.

00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:20.559
You know, ask for help is the first step.

00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:22.559
And don't feel ashamed.

00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:31.039
Yeah, ask for help and go get the book, you know, and I'll make sure I put it up at the end of the podcast.

00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:33.359
Make sure you guys get a book.

00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:38.079
And right now, this is Kelly Cat Tap Tots, and we're gonna tap right on out.